CHANGE

i must say right now that i see myself as a changed person - like totally changed upside down. this might be the test but i wish for the best for me. i don't want to have myself diverge from my former track.

well, living in states makes me feel good about almost everything. i have learned many things actually and that includes about myself, my species, and my religion. verily, what has been said back then when i was in Malaysia was right; don't waste your opportunity of being here - well many have said so. you can do whatever you can't do or will not do if you were in Malaysia (at least it applies for me).

sometimes, i can't even believe that i am doing all these things. they never came across my mind before. Wow! those things are different from each other like one end of rope to the other. they are all tied together and made or shape or fashion me as myself.

but i guess that is basically what we do in our life - to change (or as you may call it migrate) from one state to another. i'm just hoping everything's going well and best for myself. as you may found this terrible article/essay, or more precise to be described as piece of thought of mine, as general; it's my intention to make it that way.

i still remember what my chemistry (a subject which i almost hate) teacher told us - the 5IB students: "individual success can never be as sweet as altogether success" (he was referring to our class - the 5IB). yes he was right and will always be right about that. i can say it still applies today. i feel happy if me, my friends, my course-mate, and my colleague or comrades as you may say, succeed (in whatever we were into).

it turns out that it makes me feel sad, upset, and emotionally/mentally perturbed if ones (or I specifically) have to walk alone. it turns out to be more tragic if there is something makes me feel sabotaged or disrespected. clearly, many of us, (and i was, and maybe am) are in the act of abusing. i don't know how to express this more clearly but we, the human, are blessed with many faculties of mind such as judging, reasoning, understanding and imagining (and whatever the like in the sense of mode of thinking); so, they might be useful if we KNOW and WANT to use or utilize them.

i know i did a terrible mistakes before, in which i couldn't turn back the time to change my choice of path; but, at least i can say that i am trying, or best said struggling ,to change myself. obviously, i can say it is like a process of metamorphosis of a new me. i'm just hoping that i would be transforming to be a better person inside out. i don't really like Obama but i have to quote him "change is what we need" and he was absolutely right.

if i were given the chance to turn back the time, i would go for it. but it is impossible and merely just a dream. so, keep moving on!

verily, i wish i could tell this to as many people as i can..but who do i think i am to say what is best for everyone... =)