Followers

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Convince:.:Accept//Force:.: Disastrous

**this is the thing that i have always wanted to tell people**
***enough with this stars thingy***

if you see the title of this entry, you might not have any idea what this entry is all about. this is about serious matter; but, i am not going to write this in a very serious tone. i will try my best to convey my message; but IT IS UP TO YOU TO ACCEPT IT OR NOT.

well, that is a pretty decent thesis statement for a blog entry. anyway, what i am going to tell you is a common thing in our society - people's reaction and acceptance upon ideas/messages. this might be situation in our office meeting, our daily conversation, or maybe within ourselves.

THE PROBLEM
most of the time, we see some people struggle to get people to agree with them; too bad, that is not a healthy thing to do after all. it gets worse when the audience, or the opponents take some offensive approach towards these people. often we see comments as follow:

"Boo!! your idea is no good after all"
"Stupid Joe, go to hell with your damn speech"
"Your article is a total rubbish"

yet, the total blame is not on the audience alone.

there are two kind of people in this situation:
1. people with idea/message
2.the listener/audience/or people who are meant to receive the messages/ideas.

people do have ideas/messages, but they do not know how to convey or deliver them to public effectively. often time, when they are rejected, they take it personal. everything else that succeeds the rejection is all overly-emotional.

on the other hand, the listeners, or better be called receptors (because they receive ideas/messages), feel threatened when the delivered messages/ideas contradicts with their norm or belief. they will strike back with the meanest offense you will ever see.

but, that is the worst case scenario.

wouldn't it be nice if we have some sort of code of conduct? i used to hold fast onto this philosophy (and i am getting it back right now) :

"Convince people to accept your idea but do not ever force them to agree with you"

hehe..i wanted to write it in more fancy way but i am afraid people will not get my point.

CONVINCING PEOPLE (first party)
this is the first step to have your ideas implemented. after all, this is not a hard thing to do. if you can articulately explain what your ideas/messages are all about, you are actually halfway there.

you must also be patient to explain every necessary point. (i think i want to use "I" instead of "You" as this is merely a self-reflection)

in presenting your ideas, don't just blatantly equip your presentation with some fuzzy, anonymous, and nonsense crap. come on, dude. what you wanna do is to have your presentation go along with facts and wise opinions and reasons.

see, i have always thought that it is hard to convince people but the truth is far from myth.

but, if they do not agree or can't accept your ideas, then just move on.perhaps there is something somewhere you have to fix. be professional, not over-emotional. don't take it personal.

'whatever you do, do it at your best'

LISTEN AND DECIDE (2nd party)
sometimes, i feel the urge to send almost all people i know or see to school back. i want them (and maybe myself too) to learn to LISTEN. it doesn't matter if you like it or not. just LISTEN first, and whatever you wanna do after that is totally up to u. but if i may, i would like to suggest or advise you on how to react upon presented ideas.

if you like the idea or the message then it's good. you make their lives easier.

if you don't, then don't take it negatively. there is nothing wrong with your thought about that idea or message. dude, that is what we call PREFERENCE. you have been given choices. you may leave without making any offensive remarks; or, if you think you have a better idea, feel free to present yours - in an acceptable manner. take emotion out of the equation first.

in any case, useful and constructive critics always help.

but, what if this is between you and your superiors (or leaders). most of the time, in our culture, people fool themselves just to please their superiors. i sometimes wonder what these assholes get as a reward..well, guys, if you wanna be good, LEARN TO SAY NO. i have a lot to say when talking about superior but let me stick to this discussion first. if you truly are human being, then there will be no such thing as superior. don't get me wrong, i am not a communist either. but what i am saying is that we are all equal in the context of humanity.

well, it is for our own good too to have our leaders not to make mistakes. imagine (or see) how disastrous it could be (or have been) if we keep our mouths shut and just nod our heads. come on, even though they are leaders but they cannot run from making mistakes. it is our responsibility to remind them of their wrongdoings in acceptable, wise, good, recommended, and full-of-respect manners. if we are truly smart, we would not curse against each other like certain people do.

'verily, remembrance of Allah is the best advice after all'

ARGUMENT

we might come to a point when argument starts to dominate the atmosphere. remember, arguing is not a bad thing. moreover, it might be necessary, provided we all do it appropriately.

here is the thing; we are still in common ground even if we do not agree with others.

not agreeing does not mean you go against everyone else. please, take this idea of fanaticism to your trashcan.

personally speaking, if i had any idea, i would LOVE to have somebody else to not agree with me.

why?

not agreeing means we are seeing from different points of view. that is why we arrive at different agreement. by not sitting under same umbrella of agreement, we actually have widened our view.

argh..this entry has been too long..ok, i wanna stop here. but, remember, all in all, patience is the key. don't get mad too soon or you will terribly regret it later.

'patience is half of our faith'



*today is a good day to write an entry because it is a special day*





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